041 ON AIR: Finding home in awakened heart with Silas Rose

with Silas Rose

The longing for home and belonging runs deep, especially in times of crisis and change. Home is a place of comfort and safety and the container of our dreams. However, comfort can also trap us in a thick cocoon made up of our habitual patterns, relationships and emotions cultivated over years and decades. To know our deeper purpose and truth we eventually need to give up the familiar reference points of home for some new and uncertain.

In this short monologue Silas explores the complex emotions around home provoked by a recent move as well as the paradox of discovering awakened heart after chasing the wrong dream.

Episode Transcripts

intro 0:09
You’re listening to Awake in Relationship, a podcast about intimacy, community and culture in a time of great change with Silas rose.

Silas Rose 0:41
Greetings, dear listener, my name is Silas Rose, and you’re tuned in to another episode of Awake In Relationship. It’s been a little over a month since I published an episode, which is kind of unusual for me. So I thought I’d spend this monologue talking a little bit about something kind of personal, which relates to the topic of home. Most of May was really preoccupied with packing and moving to a new space in the country. Like many people home and become somewhat claustrophobic, as Covid dragged on, and didn’t help that I had a really noisy neighbour upstairs who loved to show off his pornstar skills late at night, which meant sleeping was a little bit difficult at times.

It really became apparent that condo life was not for me. So I wanted a big change and I got it, so I moved to a small property about 30 minutes from Victoria, For a long time I had wanted to go rural, Since my early 20s, I really held the dream of being more land based, and starting a retreat center. And so when this opportunity showed up, it really felt like finding my dream home. The only problem is, I soon discovered it was the wrong dream.

I don’t want to make too big of a deal, about my problems of privilege. But there are a few things closer to the heart than home. I’m always consider myself somewhat of a heart centred guy. So my emotional reaction to this new space was somewhat perplexing. I’ve had some really great conversations with close friends and trusted advisors on last month. exploring this feeling of disappointment. Who doesn’t crave creating a magical sense of home and belonging, especially in these somewhat chaotic and uncertain times. The war in Ukraine and the subsequent refugee crisis really has highlighted this basic human yearning. Ideally, home is a place of comfort and safety. It’s a container of our dreams. However, too much comfort can also be kind of stifling. like living in a cocoon, made up of a tangled web of emotions and relationships and habitual patterns that we cultivate over years and decades, it becomes our sense of self. At a certain point, we stop growing grow and it becomes necessary to leave our little nest If we want to know a greater truth of who and what we are.

The old saying, Home is where the heart is, couldn’t be more on point. So I’ve never really felt my emotions in such a visceral way since making this move, it’s been real time reflection. So perhaps I got the retreat and insights I was looking for. I am also reminding them on Turkish saying, ‘no matter how far you go down the wrong road, turn back’. The turning back is really the exciting part for me as I see it as a turning towards something much deeper, an inspiration that was perhaps obscured. This podcast is very much a part of that deeper inspiration. Over in the next year, I’m going to be working with a business coach to help me create some courses with some of the great guests I’ve had on the show. I’m really wanting Awake In Relationships and become a hub for transformational relationships and learning. So I hope you continue to join me on this ride.

Over the summer months I will be reimagining the podcast and platform, but still continue to publish probably once a month. While I work out certain details on my domestic life. As always, I welcome your feedback, you can always send me a message through the contact page on the website at awakeinrelationship.com or reach out on Twitter or Instagram. If you’ve been enjoying the show and really appreciate just taking a moment and leaving a quick review on Apple or wherever you listen to podcasts. Thank you so much for tuning in. I’m hoping you are staying connected, and finding home in your awakened heart.